Tag Archives: teenager

Growing Up INTJ

Español: Tipo Myers-Briggs INTJ
Español: Tipo Myers-Briggs INTJ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I first posted a video on YouTube about being an INTJ, several people responded in support, others wondered. Could this guy really be an INTJ? After all. He’s on YouTube?

In that video I explained what an INTJ is and gave examples of famous ones from history. The Myers-Briggs test is a measure of someone’s personality traits. It is not a box to stuff people into, nor is it a box into which one may hide. It is a measure. It is a starting point of understanding.

Response to that video compelled me to share more of my test results. My more in-depth video was the result. Here I shared the actual test results, showing the pages. Yes, it was to show the doubters out there that I really am an INTJ. After all, these videos take a great deal of energy from me. Blog posting is much easier. Add to that, I tend to do the videos in one take, unlike say Karen Alloy (spricket24) who uses many quick cuts in her style. I’m more like say….the Snap Chick..Leigh…something….ok..moving on.

Several people sent me e-mails asking what it was like growing up. Ok…new video made. Now for the text.

My mother is an extrovert. So is my brother. My father is more introverted, but during my formative years Uncle Sam had him here, there and everywhere quite often. As a result, I was much closer to my mother. Being on opposite ends on the first letter did bring some misunderstandings. I wanted to be alone with my books and thoughts and ideas. She wanted me to get out of the house and meet people. We were both right, in our own ways.

Having social skills is important. One needs to be able to understand and communicate with others. After all, none of us are islands unto our selves. We need others to provide what we cannot ourselves acquire. But being with people drains an Introvert and eventually, there is a need to recharge. This my mother didn’t seem to understand till later in life.

Much of the time growing up, we had no television. My mind was my playground and my imagination became strong. In 1979, we moved to Fort Belvoir, Virginia. Here I could access the library on my own and I did. I read every Hardy Boys book they had. I tried the Bobbsey Twins and others. I read books as though I had a hunger, a longing. By seventh grade it was The Hobbit and the The Lord of the Rings series. I didn’t need television. I had my books.

And my mother said go meet people.

I was in the Boy Scouts till the younger kids annoyed me too often. I reached the rank of Star, though no further. Here I tuned my love of learning into merit badges. I had dreams, but no plans. I wanted much, but had no way to get there. After all. I had my books.

My teenage years saw me grow more introverted. I saw many of my fellow classmates as whiny children. I still see teenagers that way. Anytime I heard someone say “That’s not fair,” my only response was “Life isn’t fair.” I started to write more, sharing with no one. Who series of stories and novels danced through my head. I played Traveller. I wrote computer programs on paper. I had a few friends. We moved to Germany and I had woods to explore. Old ruins held high import to me. Moss fields became a land of mists and dragons. I created my own alphabets. I wrote. I shared none.

And my mother said to mingle and meet people.

During my senior year in high school, my interest in females grew high enough to actually talk to them. Half-way through the year I finally asked one out: Dee Dee Kreminak. We went to the movies and had pizza afterward. We talked about for hours. She was beautiful. We had a good time. A few weeks later I asked her to join my family for Ice Capades. She said she couldn’t, I’ve long forgotten why. I tried another date a bit later. No. Ugh. I was crushed.

My first attempt at being social and more than just seeing someone at church or school left me a bit crushed. Was I doomed for more introversion? On a train filled with American youth on its way to Berchtesgaden, the answer became no. Here I met Tracy Janner and a weekend friendship grew. She lived in Kaiserslautern, two hours away. I would see her twice more before leaving Germany. I learned a bit more.

Over the years I’ve had to work at being more open. I’ve also had to learn when to pull back. I tend to OCD on being extroverted when I am really pushed out of my Introvert shell. I am not really shy that much, just lending to observing people more than participating. After all, INTJs are Masterminds and Analytical.

I’ve learned when to let go of the Perfectionist tendencies and when to embrace them fully. There are times I lean on my INTJ traits and others when I abound to walk away. Growing up INTJ has been great fun and great frustration; heartache and love; sickness and health. It is who I am and I am wonderful. I seek to encourage others and know I can make a difference.

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